Dev,
It has been pointed out to me that to criticise one should know first. I am writing back that one should not just know, but should know better.
Oulipians are Rats who build the labyrinth from which they will try to escape.
~Raymond Queneau
The message was handwritten. cursive feminine letters. As known - It was a healthy girl. The mother was fine, a bit exhausted. His secretary earnestly congratulated. And there were many handshakes . He cut short the meeting and cancelled the day’s schedule.
He has seen this many times. Yet he cannot remember . Or forget. It is neither prose nor poetry, it is like a critique. A complete stranger reserving the power to hurt you. Again and again.
The dark torsos of trees were trailing rapidly beside the road. The leaves rustled in the wind. Autumn is a wretched season. Full of remembering , forgetting and longing he thought as he drove on.
They all had agreed to call her Susan after her late aunt. All the requisite shopping had been completed a week before the expected day. Grandma had even knitted a pair of tiny woollen socks. Pink coloured.
He continues in this state. Of speculations. Ifs and If nots. And If onlys. A world opens inside his head, drawing him away from everything , mostly himself. It doesn’t hurt after a while. He just gasps when he wakes.
On the way he thought of buying a champagne and a box of Thornton’s . He decided to take a right at the next intersection. It felt so ethereal for a minute. Almost. To be a dad.
When he wakes up at night, he finds himself shivering and drenched in sweat. He silently watches the arcs of light from the passing traffic climb onto the room walls. He tries to remember. But nothing comes to his mind. His despair is married to the fact. That he has to live with it. He weeps.
The autumn sun sunk slowly in the greying sky, casting long sombre shadows. The traffic was light. He hummed along with Cohen on the radio as he turned right. He wasn’t driving too fast. But as it often happens, he just couldn’t stop when he wanted. It was too late.
The girl wore a pink skirt. She had turned seven a week before.
It was later in the hospital mortuary he learnt she was called Susan.
PS- I have exercised my chosen constraints. The consciousness (apple) has been cut into four slices each. Admixed tenses are symbolic of this. The last two lines is a specific attempt aimed towards a reader who requests an easier understanding.
The motif is Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, dealt in present, while the event is a memory of the past. The write-up is a depiction of a nightmare in the ailment. The idiotic theme 'message' is included just to be democratic.
Of course, Not submitting, but if anyone steals it, remember you saw it here first.
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3 comments:
Good stuff here Sunil. Why don't you submit it? Let more people read it and savour the words. Or better still expand it to 1000 words and send it to dname@sulekha.net with a brief note about y'self. When you create good words you don't own them anymore.... (I remember a scene from a film about Pablo Neruda in which a young man 'steals' a poem and tells Neruda, "Poetry belongs to those who need it...")
Thank you dev, Appreciate it.
Im glad in these times of pop literature, you could relate to it.
It was a transit write-up. I have now way to expand it to 1000 words.Not under oulipo umbrella. So yet that sophisticated.
I believe the writeup is not mine anymore. As I see it, Its out there. Coming to submitting it and all, no, fine thank you.
And that is beacuse with no due disrespect to anyone, I do not belive in the worth of the competition or the credibilty of its judgement. And I am supported by the results of last year.
Fame does not figure among my pursuits.
I would die a Nabokov than a Pasternak.
Hi Sunil, talking of microfiction I remember: Ek tha raja, ek thi rani, dono mar gaye, khatm kahani (Once upon a time there was a king and his queen, both died, end of story) and there is the epitaph for a waiter that I had read in a book. This is how it goes: By and By, God caught his eye
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